BLOG – Active Love

The title of this Blog is a variation on the titel of the impactful book by Joanna Macy and Chris Johnstone (2016), Active Hope, which teaches us that hope alone may lead to complacency, while a series of steps along gratitude and acceptance may lead us to empowered action.

What then is ‘active love’ ? In short, it is being committed to protect that which you love. This need not be a big, passionate, public display, it may be as small as a moment of …. cherishing.

During the holidays I spent time with the qustions, who and what do I cherish? And, by whom and what am I cherished?

The questions provoke both positive and negative feelings. Loving tenderness, warmth, calm, peace, joy. Ánd longing, disappointment, anger, guilt and shame, even unworthiness.

I thought of people, my children, partner, family, friends.

I thought of places, homes, favourite countries, landscapes and seasides, and some secret spots. I thought of moments of the day, like my morning coffee and the warm bed I slip into at night.

I thought of items I keep safe like my almost 60-year old teddy bear, other gifts, hand-made art.

Artifacts I pick up in nature like stones and feathers, leaves and smells.

I thought of my body, sensuality, health and vitality.

I thought of dreams, beliefs, hopes, longings and faith.

I thought of the life skills, talents and qualities I have developed and treasure.

I thought of memories and how I keep them safe.

I thought of my struggles, fears, successes and failures.

I thought, I felt. I felt love for the miracle of my life, the richness of life.

I felt respect and gratitude. I felt small in such a big, rich world. I felt humility.

And then, I felt the kindling of a fire inside me.

It was ignited long before the midwinter ceremony, during which I lit a candle to celebrate the resilience of nature, of life, the lenthening of the days.

It was anticipated when I took my present profile picture: a reflection of myself in the window of the big church on Hydra, Greece, behind which a votive candle was burning:

During the holidays I felt the kindling catching fire, first inside my heart, then a glow spreading inside my belly, and an occassional flash of lightning inside my head.

I felt a warmth starting to radiate from the inside out, and from the outside in…

How was this different from love ?

Love is a feeling.

Cherishing is active. A fire needs tending.

Cherising is allowing love to radiate from you and into you.

To love means that you attach value to the object of your love.

To cherish means you cultivate and honour the object of your love. It is mature love, which recognises the fysical, emotional, mental and spiritual dimension of your attachment. It is a love which recognises the divinity of the object of your love. It is a love which recognises that you and that which you love come from one and the same source.

To cherish is to be cherished. The begin all, the end all. So above, so below. So outside, so inside.

To cherish is to celebrate the whole in the minute.

When I consciously cherish a sip of tea while gently rocking in my chair in front of the fire, I cherish life itself, and feel cherished by life itself. I am in awe, like when I look at a new born baby.

In a newborn baby it is fairly easy see the radiance of life, the light of purity. One needs not activate ones love, it automatically pours in and out.

Sipping tea is not so hard either, but when your thoughts trail to your worries, or your body’s aches, it sometimes does require a conscious effort to cherish life in all its aspects.

Family tribulations during the holidays may be quite demanding, but it is always possible to actively choose to cherish the bare fact that you do belong to a family. No life without two living organisms coming together, no you without your parents. When you cherish your family with all it entails, you cherich your life. When you cherish your life, consciously or unconsciously, you cherish your parents, your ancestry, the whole.

Watching the news is something I do not actively seek out to do. Even though spiritually and mentally I have faith in all that happens, my body does react fysically and emotionally to unjustice and suffering. There is a long way for me to go in cherishing the painful and fearful aspects of life. I do cherish however the fact that my holding space, my ability to stay attuned to my own and others’ feelings, is growing. If I cannot actively love all that I see and feel happening in the world, I can actively hope that I and thus we, as a human species, are evolving towards more and more consciousness. Which is the stepping stone to compassion, hope and finally, love and peace.

This is how I anticipate the future: even though disaster seems to loom for the health of the planet and more imminent, the mental health of our species, active love does bring on Grace.

Grace for the individual and, through the individual, for the collective.

Grace is the embodied experience of non-separateness. Non-duality. Being part of the larger whole. Grace is the experience of being one. Grace is the feeling of being cherished.

Grace allows no harm. Thus Grace leads to active love for oneself, ourselves, the whole.

And active love leads to Grace.

It starts with consciousness.

Being in the moment.

Respecting life, all that is.

Feeling gratitude for your life, for all that is in your life.

Kindling passion for life, a commitment to preserve life as you love it.

Finding humility, concerning your part in the whole.

And finding agency, concerning your part in the whole.

Which is to cherish as much of the whole as you can.

Minute to minute.

Active love is serving life, serving the whole.

Active love is Grace. Grace is being an undivided part of the whole.

Grace is remembering our source.

Grace is feeing cherished.

Grace is Peace.